Getting out of Self

Recently I have struggled, with exhaustion, agitation, frustration and self pity. No matter what prayer I said, conversation I had with a sponsor or friend or other AA, I couldn't get out of myself. The creeping thoughts could come in and I would push them down.

So I got back to basics. I started reading my BB one page a day or more just to get back to what I know works for me, I did my 3rd and 7th step prayers and all of the sudden God did for me what I could not do for myself. He presented me an opportunity to get out of myself and my self pity.

What did I do..... nothing, I made myself available. I was willing to go to any lengths. My phone rang yesterday, it was the answering service for the district I volunteer for. Someone needed a call back, they wanted to go to a meeting. I had missed the call at first, but I immediately called the number back, hoping I didn't miss the chance. The service gave me her number, and I picked her up and took her to a meeting last night. I didn't think of myself once. I didn't think of my crappy day I just had, nor did I consider for one second all the things I thought I should be doing to better my life, blah blah blah.

We went to a Big Book Study meeting, and she asked me to sponsor her. Apparently, I needed to get back to that place of willingness on many different levels. Willingness to give of oneself, willingness to get out of myself. thank God!